Tag Archive for 'Personal Development'

Rules Or Rewards

“We Are Rules OR We’re Rewards”
–Dr Marc Dussault

A RULE is EVERYTHING that HAS TO HAPPEN to feel X. A reward is what you are aiming to achieve.

For example, a mother might have RULES that to be happy (Reward):

  • The house has to be spotless.
  • All the kids are in a good mood every day.
  • All the kids are getting straight As.
  • Her husband NEVER works late.
  • The garden is perfectly groomed.

A business person might have RULES that:

  • They have to win EVERY JOB that comes in.
  • Employees all have to do to their jobs PERFECTLY.
  • Nothing ever goes wrong.
  • ALL his/her to do list items are completed EVERY day.

The more extreme the list of RULES – the WORSE it is.

When it gets out of hand, it’s OCD (Obssessive Compulsive Disorder), but it’s destructive way before it gets to that point.

RULES are insidious – they kill relationships and create conflict and confrontation where there is no “logical” reason for it.

Most arguments are rules-based.

  • I want the towel hung up on THIS hook.
  • Why can’t you put the dishes in the dishwasher instead of the counter/sink?
  • Why do you have to put so much toothpaste on your brush?
  • I wanted my egg soft-boiled, now it’s hard boiled!

Y’see what I mean?

It,s much harder than it sounds to reduce the number of RULES that RUIN your life, but start the process by writing them down – AS THEY OCCUR.

These are not the same as disempowering beliefs or thoughts.. RULES are things that MUST happen for you to feel X…

Review the lists above and give it a go – you can’t get it wrong… You can only ignore it at your peril.

Psst! If you can’t do it to yourself – OBSERVE others – You’ll quickly recognise them when you realise how ridiculous most of them are!

 

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30 Things To Stop Doing To Yourself

30 Things to Stop Doing to Yourself

30 Things to Stop Doing to Yourself

When you stop chasing the wrong things you give
the right things a chance to catch you.

As Maria Robinson once said, “Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.”  Nothing could be closer to the truth.  But before you can begin this process of transformation you have to stop doing the things that have been holding you back.

Here are some ideas to get you started:

  1. Stop spending time with the wrong people. – Life is too short to spend time with people who suck the happiness out of you.  If someone wants you in their life, they’ll make room for you.  You shouldn’t have to fight for a spot.  Never, ever insist yourself to someone who continuously overlooks your worth.  And remember, it’s not the people that stand by your side when you’re at your best, but the ones who stand beside you when you’re at your worst that are your true friends.
  2. Stop running from your problems. – Face them head on.  No, it won’t be easy.  There is no person in the world capable of flawlessly handling every punch thrown at them.  We aren’t supposed to be able to instantly solve problems.  That’s not how we’re made.  In fact, we’re made to get upset, sad, hurt, stumble and fall.  Because that’s the whole purpose of living – to face problems, learn, adapt, and solve them over the course of time.  This is what ultimately molds us into the person we become.
  3. Stop lying to yourself. – You can lie to anyone else in the world, but you can’t lie to yourself.  Our lives improve only when we take chances, and the first and most difficult chance we can take is to be honest with ourselves.  Read The Road Less Traveled.
  4. Stop putting your own needs on the back burner. – The most painful thing is losing yourself in the process of loving someone too much, and forgetting that you are special too.  Yes, help others; but help yourself too.  If there was ever a moment to follow your passion and do something that matters to you, that moment is now. Continue reading ’30 Things To Stop Doing To Yourself’
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Get A New Body In 2012…

If you didn’t already know, most of the cells in your body will regenerate themselves within the next 12 months, which means you’ll have a brand new body – literally…

Though you can’t see it happening, every minute of the day we lose about 30,000 to 40,000 dead skin cells off the surface of our skin. So just in the time it took you to read this far, you’ve probably lost about 20,000 cells.

That’s almost 9 pounds (4 kilograms) of cells every year! But don’t think your skin might wear out someday. Your epidermis is always making new skin cells that rise to the top to replace the old ones. Most of the cells in your epidermis (95%) work to make new skin cells.

The question is – which (new) body do you want?

New Year, New Body, New Year's Resolutions

Given the choice, which one would you prefer?

Here’s the thing – you have the choice… Click on the image to see how you can have a great ‘new body’ in 2012!

Deciding or NOT deciding are both decisions. One gets you the body you want, the other well…

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Waking Moments

You might not realise it, but each day, we have 20,000 waking moments – according to one Nobel Prize Laureate who studied human psychology in depth. Others have estimated that men and women speak 5,000 and 10,000 words daily (respectively, but maybe not respectfully!).

The bad news is that 90% of these moments and words are re-lived the following day and the day after that – like the movie Ground Hog Day.

To avoid this trap, make a conscious effort to do something new, think something new by CHANGING something about what, how and who you do it with.

It’s actually not that hard to do.

  • Buy something new to eat.
  • Try a new restaurant.
  • Take a different route home.
  • Stay at a different hotel when traveling on business.
  • Sleep the ‘other way’ around on your bed (I’m serious, switch the sheets and put your head where your feet usually are and I promise you it will FEEL different. (Maybe even smell different!)
  • Pick up a magazine at the news agent you would never read in a million years – actually read a few pages – maybe even buy it.
  • Walk or cycle to the corner store instead of driving.
  • Don’t put milk in your tea or coffee (or vice versa).

The point is to just interrupt the pattern you’re in and see what happens – you will be FORCED to think and act differently at least in that moment and for several moments later.

I know I sound like a broken record sometimes, but it needs to be said:

“ It’s the little things that make a BIG difference.”

The more you stop trying to change the (your) world in one massive effort, the faster and sooner you’ll realise that the 1 Percent Improvement Doctrine is the way to go to effect long-lasting change.

The primary reason is  the HABIT you form is 1 Percent shifts which are not alien or foreign (which means your amygdala in your brain won’t see them as a threat) and will become who you are. A constantly evolving being…

If you think a blog post like this is interesting, imagine spending a day with me… At the upcoming Exponential Extravaganza event, I’m going to reveal hundreds of tips and techniques like this… I hope you’ll attend – it’s going to be a lot of fun!

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Date With Destiny

If you haven’t been to Anthony RobbinsDate With Destiny – you’ve missed out on a magical opportunity to well, create your ultimate destiny. The program format and content cannot be summarised in a blog post, but what I do what to share with you is one of the PIVOTAL exercises where you come up with your ‘Mission Statement’ that defines your Purpose in life.

My Date With Destiny Mission Statement:

Continue reading ‘Date With Destiny’

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Validation

Today’s blog post is courtesy of Personal Breakthrough Creator Yvonne McIntosh. It’s a 16 minute YouTube video that I promise you is worth watching on so many levels. When you have an Exponential Mindset, you understand your role and responsibility in this world is BIGGER than you.

This inspirational video will touch you as it did me – watch it to the end to get the FULL moral of the story.

I have a similar story that ‘validated’ what I did for many employees – about 7 years after-the-fact. It doesn’t matter how long it takes, just believe it’s worth it…

Because you’re GREAT, an AWESOME force for good in this world. Every person you touch is someone who is better off for knowing you. That includes your family, friends, clients and COMPLETE strangers on the street that you come in contact with via a smile, nod or other acknowledgment and validation.

Enjoy!

You deserve it because you are fantastic!

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Even Superman has Kryptonite!

Today’s match was disappointing – the best way to put it is even Superman has Kryptonite

I played an ‘unorthodox’ player today who wasn’t better than me technically, but came up with the non-tradition shots that I couldn’t respond to due to lack of match experience.

This was the one thing I couldn’t avoid this year because I haven’t played a single tournament in the last two years. With my travel schedule with a lot of weekend events, it just wasn’t something that was possible..

I lost in three games, knowing that there is NO CHANCE WHATSOEVER that this will happen again next year. NONE, NADA, ZIP, NYET, ZERO.

This is why competing at ‘this level’ is priceless. This isn’t a squash blog so I won’t bore you with the squash distinctions, instead I’ll give you some ‘life lessons’:

  • You need to know what arena you’re playing in – just like a boxer that gets in the ring, hits and kicks below the belt are not allowed. Today’s match was more of a street fight than a boxing match. I ‘box’ well, now I have to learn to ‘street fight’. I knew that, but it’s so much more tactile and ‘real’ when you get off the court realising you lost the game rather than the other person ‘winning’. In business, if you’re in an industry with scrappy players, you need to know the ‘rules’ people are playing by and elevate your game accordingly as I explain below.
  • Strategy, maturity and vision are extremely important, especially at times like these. Like Superman, I knew that if someone showed up with Kryptonite, I had no defence. It’s the luck of the draw and I accept that – THIS YEAR. Next year’s a totally different story. If you know your strengths and weaknesses in business, you can try to avoid your Kryptonite as much as possible, but if you want REAL, ULTIMATE SUCCESS, you must find an antidote. Otherwise the ultimate prize will never be yours.
  • Find out what to work on to get the MAXIMUM results. I now know that my fitness is not an issue – I am as fit as I need to be to playing in the top ’32′. I need to focus on my racquet skills and match experience. The former I can work at on my own, the second will require considerable travel to compete in tournaments to get the experience I need. The analogy in business is that as I explained in yesterday’s post “Where you stack up NOW makes a difference LATER“, knowing your strengths and weaknesses as they are now can dramatically improve the speed at which your results will emerge. To stay with the squash analogy, if I fix two or three technical issues with my strokes and/or shot selection, I will start to win games that I am currently losing. If I don’t and just focus on fitness, the only thing that will happen is that I will sweat less after losing the game that I should have won. This is much easier said than done. Without a Business Mentor or a tool like our Marketing Autopsy™, it’s hard to know WHAT TO FOCUS ON TO GET IMMEDIATE RESULTS.
  • That’s why great, world-class competition is so valuable. It’s why Formula One racing is funded to the tune of HUNDREDS OF MILLIONS OF DOLLARS. Car companies can’t test their products any other way…

With all that in mind, I leave you with one thought.

I hate to lose, I really do.

But what I hate more than losing is NOT WINNING. Winning requires that you lose to learn the lessons that make you better. Once you let go of your ego (yes, I know that is not an easy thing to do…) and re-direct your focus to IMPROVEMENT, then and only then can you get back on the ‘winning track’.

I was speaking to a top grade player and she mentioned that everytime she got to the next higher grade, she had to run around like crazy all over again because what worked previously no longer worked at the new, higher standard… That is a priceless insight that’s hard to find anywhere else but at a world-class competition, straight from the mouth of a champion!

That means I have to MAINTAIN my fitness BECAUSE I am going to need it when I get to the next ‘level’!

Onward and upward!
Dr Marc Dussault

Australia’s #1 Exponential Growth Strategist

P.S.

If you know me well, you know today has been a tough day for me, but what keeps me resilient and always ‘setting a new standard’ as Tony Robbins says is that with excellence (outstandingness or extraordinariness in Tony’s terms) comes a sense of confidence that mastery gives you the ability to DICTATE the game.

That is what I am striving for and I know without a doubt I have the talent and ability to ascend to that level.

On a day like today, that’s what keeps me going. I feel the pain, hurt and disappointment like anyone else would – I wanted to win today, but I lost.

I lost because I didn’t have the level of mastery to DICTATE the game.

But I know what I need to do to get that level of Mastery. That’s what I came to discover and it’s CRYSTAL CLEAR to me know – and yes the crystal was green today… very funny!

If you’re a squash fan or addict – the reason I know what I need to do is because at championships like these, there are seeded players and unseeded players. In the first rounds, seeds play players with a lot less talent and ability – yet the ‘unorthodox’ shots don’t win the game BECAUSE they do things SPECIFICALLY to counter-act them…

That is what I didn’t know I didn’t know that I need to know!

By the way, using a metaphor like Superman and Krytonite helps me deal with the situation as I evaluate and assess my progress.

Without metaphors, the Vortex Of Mediocrity™ can have a devastating and debilitationg effect.

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Marc Dussault’s Personal Mastery Blog Launched!

Yes it’s here – my Personal Mastery Blog!

I know quite a few of you were wondering when it would happen…

After all I have a Business Mastery Blog an Internet Mastery Blog and a Get The Best Grades With The Least Amount Of Effort Blog

Why not add the PERSONAL component to triangulate the Exponential Mindset™?

I wasn’t ready until now AND I wanted it to be launched commemorating my entry into the 2008 World Masters Squash Championships in Christchurch, New Zealand.

Yes, if you don’t know, this is my first international competition after winning an Open Men’s B Championship in my very first squash competition in 2005 and my first Master’s State Divisional Championship that same year.

That’s when I decided I wanted to give the international ‘circuit’ a go…

So here I am in Christchurch… Playing in the 45 to 49 age category to see where I rank within the top 100 in the world…

It’s going to be fun. LITERALLY.

This year is all about surveying the terrain, determining where I am within the top 100 to determine where I want to be NEXT YEAR when the Championships are in my home town of Sydney, Australia!

In fact next year it’s the World Masters Games that include ALL the other sports! It’s an event even BIGGER than the Olympics due to the sheer number of competitors.

NEXT YEAR is when I want to ‘peak’. That’s what THIS YEAR is all about -> NEXT YEAR’S COMPETITION.

I hear it all the time in business – everyone wants to make a quick buck TODAY. They rarely think of the consequences, costs and risks of such a short term strategy.

In my case, this is an ‘open draw’ which means the luck of the draw will determine who I play. I can end up playing 5 players who are way, way better than me. I have no ‘say’ in that whatsoever. That’s just the way it happens.

NEXT year it’s ‘divisional’ which means the draw is set according to ability, so unless someone outright cheats, players of ‘equal’ ability compete to win their ‘division’.

That’s what I plan to do – determine where I am NOW in the top 100 and set my sights on X positions higher NEXT YEAR.

In business it’s no different. If you plan to try to win ‘NOW’ and don’t know the rules in play, how can you possibly EXPECT TO WIN? If you just took a little longer to analyse the situation and ask a DIFFERENT QUESTION, you’d get a different ANSWER.

In my case, my ultimate outcome is that I want to get to play my BEST squash before I turn 50.

Why? Because.

Once the DECISION has been made (WHAT), then and only then do I figure out HOW I am going to achieve that.

I need ‘match experience’ and I also need to know how good the top 100 really are. I need to get on the court and slug it out to see where my strengths and weaknesses are WITH players my age – back home, everyone I play is younger and fitter than I am, with one exception (more about him later).

There is NO SUBSTITUTE to being here.

But I am not here to WIN – I am here to PLAY MY ABSOLUTE BEST.

Yes there is a difference.

You know what I’m talking about consciously or subconsciously.

I want to PLAY MY BEST so that I know what to IMPROVE for next year.

If I came here just to win, I would have reinforced really bad habits that might have worked to improve my chances to win NOW, but would reduce my chances to ‘peak’ next year.

I’ll give you an example. I do what’s called ‘breaking my wrist’ on my backhand swing. It reduces the power I can get from the stroke. If I just wanted to ‘win now’, I would keep breaking it and would be playing ‘better’ right now. By not breaking my wrist, I am not as ‘good’ right now as I could be, but by NOT doing it I will have SOLVED the problem by the time next year’s competition comes around. If I kept breaking it NOW, it would take me MONTHS of practice to undo the accumulated ‘muscle memory’.

Does that make sense?

In business the same thing applies. Often, I really, really want to help someone, but their bad habits are so ingrained that after 10, 20, 30 or even 40 years that they are too hard to change and he/she doesn’t have the discipline to create a NEW, BETTER HABIT.

In reality it’s not as much about discipline as it is VISION – seeing beyond TODAY to lay the foundation of a BETTER tomorrow. I call it a decision-making horizon.

So there you have it – the FIRST POST of my Personal Mastery Blog. Two years in the planning, it’s finally here!

The final point I want to make for today – I mentioned it earlier, is that SUCCESS, any success is all about the OUTCOME…

Mine is to PEAK at playing squash before I am 50. There are several reasons for this.

  1. I learnt to play squash in my mid to late thirties when I came to Australia in 2000. I had played some tennis and racquetball in my twenties, but neither competitively.
  2. Squash is a very unforgiving sport. The second bounce of the ball happens VERY, VERY quickly REGARDLESS of age. In fact the older the players, the LESS they WANT to run and the MORE they place the ball where you’re not. Experience is actually rewarded by skill, patience and strategy.
  3. Playing at the international level requires the penultimate level of dedication. I was not willing to make that investment for this year’s competition, but plan to make it NEXT year. As I often teach, there are only 168 hours in a week and EACH HOUR has a VALUE. Squash was NEAR the top, but NEXT YEAR it has to be at the very top, otherwise I won’t ‘peak’ and get to be my ‘best’. The opportunity cost factors into the equation – more on this in a future blog post.
  4. I know that traditionally, 50 is a milestone that adversely affects squash skills: reduced peripheral vision, focus and other eye sight related symptoms, mobility and of course endurance and stamina. YES I KNOW that many/most of these can be counter-acted, but they are forces of nature that still need to be respected for what they are.
  5. 50 is another milestone for me. It’s when I plan to become a ‘global citizen of the world’ living and traveling with Monica while working on multiple continents – my training regimen will be adversely affected, but the VARIETY of people I will play will compensate for it. So if I have peaked by then, as I plan to, I will be able to extend that ‘competence/capability’ for several years – It’s called getting past the Vortex of Mediocrity™, one of the many concepts that I will be exploring in this Personal Mastery Blog.

I hope you enjoy reading this blog as much as I will have fun writing it. It will truly be a labour of love for me as I know that there are a lot of people like me out there who want to ‘get into the mind of a champion’…

With your permission, I will invite you into this world as I continue to push…

Onward and upward!
Dr Marc Dussault

Australia’s #1 Exponential Growth Strategist

P.S.

If you want to wish me luck, please ‘Dussault’ by adding comments to this blog as the DAILY entries are posted. That will totally make my day and my experience that much more special!

Throughout the week, channel positive thoughts and energy to me – squash, like many other sports requires luck. All the shots that are up count even when they are hit off the frame… I need and want ALL THE LUCK you can send me!

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