Tag Archive for 'Losing'

Inspiration is a two-way street

Today’s post is from Gulliver. Gulliver works with me as our Results Catalyst.

Please note: Only edits for style have been made.

I realised today reading your Personal Mastery blog, that even though you play at a higher level, you face challenges just like me, you aren’t invincible, you aren’t superhuman.

I never thought of you before as someone who could “not win”.

Seeing that vulnerability inspired me, because in business, even though there might be no one who can compete with you, the people who let you down are your vulnerability.

Having to depend on people who don’t believe in themselves as much as you believe in them…

I have been one of them, maybe not as much as others but nevertheless I have impeded your progress with my failure to meet the standards I need to meet to succeed.

I used to have a freak out before every[(Tae Kwon Do] belt grading, but Graham [martial arts master] would say “if I am asking you to grade, you’ve already passed”.

I remember one day thinking to myself, “s_ _ _, Gulliver, he’s a freaking 5th Dan Black Belt who are you to argue?”

I still got nervous but I threw myself at every grading like I had no fear.

I need to adapt that to what I do here, if you are asking me to do it, it isn’t just possible, if YOU think it can be done, it already HAS been done.

Raising the bar to the required standard sometimes seems an almost insurmountable obstacle, especially if you “want it” but don’t believe you are capable.

Then when someone like Marc or Graham says, “you can do it” you stand in the shadow of the mountain of their achievements at the clouds above and think, REALLY?

It was like that in my relationship with Graham too, but he’s been doing it for 20 years, it’s easy for HIM.

Sometimes, OFTEN I have thought “but that’s easy for Marc to say, he’s a sales machine, a millionaire, a genius, there’s no one like him, how can I aspire to that level?”.

His expectations are just… TOO HIGH.

But today I realize something about business success, that I knew already about martial arts, luck, genius, natural talent has nothing to do with success.

You got where you are the same way I am getting where I want to be, by taking it on the chin sometimes, by failing and trying again.

I sorta forgot about logic, that everyone starts as a white belt, even guys like Marc.

That means I really can be more like you, one day. It isn’t impossible… unless I give up on myself

As a martial artist and in my life I want to be a true warrior, a great salesperson, and from what I can tell so far they are very similar…

And to excel I need your leadership, which means I needed to be able to be led, I am coachable, but like all people I sometimes lose belief in myself.

But when self belief runs out I discovered I can push myself to do things, out of the loyalty I feel toward you for the time you spend on me, that makes me able to do things I perhaps was not able do for myself.

Here is a Martial Arts Analogy

You are the Martial Arts Master, I am the student, what would I do to make sure I honored your mentoring?

What wouldn’t I do to meet the grade if this was Tae Kwon Do?

Once in the sparring ring at a grading at the parent club, I once shrank inside, quivered when I had to spar Graham, my master.

As you get more experienced you begin to realise your opponents capacity to destroy, you feel your vulnerability more keenly.

In a split second I rallied and executed a jumping turning spinning heel technique (which was far ahead of my grading material) which whizzed past his nose surprising everyone in the room most of all me…

[Click here to see the technique on YouTube].

As you can imagine that takes some doing, but never having done it before, having fallen in class trying to pull it out, what a stretch it was!

I realized later that Graham is waiting for the day I can beat him, that he LOOKS FORWARD TO IT and that to be worthy of him I needed to give like this all the time.

And on that day, I committed that I would never back down, that I would give 100% in everything I did in his class because I wanted to honor him.

I pulled a move I had never successfully executed in class and made it FLAWLESS because I didn’t want to let Graham down in front of HIS master. Every time Graham brings a student to grade, HE is being graded.

Like I said, I can use this distinction when I feel low to rally.

Would I fail to step into the ring and spar if Graham asked me?

No.

Will I fail to step into the ring when you ask me?

No.

Thank you for being my teacher.

Gulliver.

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Even Superman has Kryptonite!

Today’s match was disappointing – the best way to put it is even Superman has Kryptonite

I played an ‘unorthodox’ player today who wasn’t better than me technically, but came up with the non-tradition shots that I couldn’t respond to due to lack of match experience.

This was the one thing I couldn’t avoid this year because I haven’t played a single tournament in the last two years. With my travel schedule with a lot of weekend events, it just wasn’t something that was possible..

I lost in three games, knowing that there is NO CHANCE WHATSOEVER that this will happen again next year. NONE, NADA, ZIP, NYET, ZERO.

This is why competing at ‘this level’ is priceless. This isn’t a squash blog so I won’t bore you with the squash distinctions, instead I’ll give you some ‘life lessons’:

  • You need to know what arena you’re playing in – just like a boxer that gets in the ring, hits and kicks below the belt are not allowed. Today’s match was more of a street fight than a boxing match. I ‘box’ well, now I have to learn to ‘street fight’. I knew that, but it’s so much more tactile and ‘real’ when you get off the court realising you lost the game rather than the other person ‘winning’. In business, if you’re in an industry with scrappy players, you need to know the ‘rules’ people are playing by and elevate your game accordingly as I explain below.
  • Strategy, maturity and vision are extremely important, especially at times like these. Like Superman, I knew that if someone showed up with Kryptonite, I had no defence. It’s the luck of the draw and I accept that – THIS YEAR. Next year’s a totally different story. If you know your strengths and weaknesses in business, you can try to avoid your Kryptonite as much as possible, but if you want REAL, ULTIMATE SUCCESS, you must find an antidote. Otherwise the ultimate prize will never be yours.
  • Find out what to work on to get the MAXIMUM results. I now know that my fitness is not an issue – I am as fit as I need to be to playing in the top ’32′. I need to focus on my racquet skills and match experience. The former I can work at on my own, the second will require considerable travel to compete in tournaments to get the experience I need. The analogy in business is that as I explained in yesterday’s post “Where you stack up NOW makes a difference LATER“, knowing your strengths and weaknesses as they are now can dramatically improve the speed at which your results will emerge. To stay with the squash analogy, if I fix two or three technical issues with my strokes and/or shot selection, I will start to win games that I am currently losing. If I don’t and just focus on fitness, the only thing that will happen is that I will sweat less after losing the game that I should have won. This is much easier said than done. Without a Business Mentor or a tool like our Marketing Autopsy™, it’s hard to know WHAT TO FOCUS ON TO GET IMMEDIATE RESULTS.
  • That’s why great, world-class competition is so valuable. It’s why Formula One racing is funded to the tune of HUNDREDS OF MILLIONS OF DOLLARS. Car companies can’t test their products any other way…

With all that in mind, I leave you with one thought.

I hate to lose, I really do.

But what I hate more than losing is NOT WINNING. Winning requires that you lose to learn the lessons that make you better. Once you let go of your ego (yes, I know that is not an easy thing to do…) and re-direct your focus to IMPROVEMENT, then and only then can you get back on the ‘winning track’.

I was speaking to a top grade player and she mentioned that everytime she got to the next higher grade, she had to run around like crazy all over again because what worked previously no longer worked at the new, higher standard… That is a priceless insight that’s hard to find anywhere else but at a world-class competition, straight from the mouth of a champion!

That means I have to MAINTAIN my fitness BECAUSE I am going to need it when I get to the next ‘level’!

Onward and upward!
Dr Marc Dussault

Australia’s #1 Exponential Growth Strategist

P.S.

If you know me well, you know today has been a tough day for me, but what keeps me resilient and always ‘setting a new standard’ as Tony Robbins says is that with excellence (outstandingness or extraordinariness in Tony’s terms) comes a sense of confidence that mastery gives you the ability to DICTATE the game.

That is what I am striving for and I know without a doubt I have the talent and ability to ascend to that level.

On a day like today, that’s what keeps me going. I feel the pain, hurt and disappointment like anyone else would – I wanted to win today, but I lost.

I lost because I didn’t have the level of mastery to DICTATE the game.

But I know what I need to do to get that level of Mastery. That’s what I came to discover and it’s CRYSTAL CLEAR to me know – and yes the crystal was green today… very funny!

If you’re a squash fan or addict – the reason I know what I need to do is because at championships like these, there are seeded players and unseeded players. In the first rounds, seeds play players with a lot less talent and ability – yet the ‘unorthodox’ shots don’t win the game BECAUSE they do things SPECIFICALLY to counter-act them…

That is what I didn’t know I didn’t know that I need to know!

By the way, using a metaphor like Superman and Krytonite helps me deal with the situation as I evaluate and assess my progress.

Without metaphors, the Vortex Of Mediocrity™ can have a devastating and debilitationg effect.

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