Rules Or Rewards

“We Are Rules OR We’re Rewards”
–Dr Marc Dussault

A RULE is EVERYTHING that HAS TO HAPPEN to feel X. A reward is what you are aiming to achieve.

For example, a mother might have RULES that to be happy (Reward):

  • The house has to be spotless.
  • All the kids are in a good mood every day.
  • All the kids are getting straight As.
  • Her husband NEVER works late.
  • The garden is perfectly groomed.

A business person might have RULES that:

  • They have to win EVERY JOB that comes in.
  • Employees all have to do to their jobs PERFECTLY.
  • Nothing ever goes wrong.
  • ALL his/her to do list items are completed EVERY day.

The more extreme the list of RULES – the WORSE it is.

When it gets out of hand, it’s OCD (Obssessive Compulsive Disorder), but it’s destructive way before it gets to that point.

RULES are insidious – they kill relationships and create conflict and confrontation where there is no “logical” reason for it.

Most arguments are rules-based.

  • I want the towel hung up on THIS hook.
  • Why can’t you put the dishes in the dishwasher instead of the counter/sink?
  • Why do you have to put so much toothpaste on your brush?
  • I wanted my egg soft-boiled, now it’s hard boiled!

Y’see what I mean?

It,s much harder than it sounds to reduce the number of RULES that RUIN your life, but start the process by writing them down – AS THEY OCCUR.

These are not the same as disempowering beliefs or thoughts.. RULES are things that MUST happen for you to feel X…

Review the lists above and give it a go – you can’t get it wrong… You can only ignore it at your peril.

Psst! If you can’t do it to yourself – OBSERVE others – You’ll quickly recognise them when you realise how ridiculous most of them are!

 

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