Forget rednecks…
Here is what comedian Jeff Foxworthy
has to say about Canadians:
If someone in a Home Depot store
offers you assistance and they don’t work there,
You may live in Canada.
If your local Dairy Queen is closed from
September through May,
You may live in Canada.
If you’ve worn shorts and a parka at the same time,
You may live in Canada.
If you’ve had a lengthy telephone conversation
With someone who dialled a wrong number,
You may live in Canada.
If ‘Vacation’ means going anywhere
South of Detroit for the weekend,
You may live in Canada.
If you measure distance in hours,
You may live in Canada.
If you know several people
Who have hit a deer more than once,
You may live in Canada.
If you have switched from ‘heat’ to ‘A/C’
In the same day and back again,
You may live in Canada.
If you can drive 90 km/hr through 2 feet of snow
During a raging blizzard without flinching,
You may live in Canada.
If you install security lights on your house and garage,
But leave both unlocked,
You may live in Canada.
If you carry jumper cables in your car
And your wife knows how to use them,
You may live in Canada.
If you design your kid’s Halloween costume
To fit over a snowsuit,
You may live in Canada.
If the speed limit on the highway is 100 km —
You’re going 130 and everybody is passing you,
You may live in Canada.
If driving is better in the winter
Because the potholes are filled with snow,
You may live in Canada.
If you know all 4 seasons:
Almost winter, winter, still winter,
and road construction,
You may live in Canada.
If you have more miles
On your snow blower than your car,
You may live in Canada.
If you find -12 degrees ‘a little chilly’,
You may live in Canada.
If you actually understand these jokes,
and forward them to all your friends,
you definitely are Canadian and proud to be.
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